嚴(yán)重劇透！??！不喜勿入?。?！Time to make the chimi-fuckin'-changas. 今天有空，把能想到的梗都在這里匯個總，大致無非基本上也就是一些屎尿屁、電影音樂等流行文化的東西。Haters Gonna Hate, OK, here we go.死侍破臉的n種說法:like I got bit by a radioactive Shar-Pei. 像被受過輻射的沙皮狗咬過一樣You look like an avocado had sex with an older more disgusting avocado. 你看起來就像牛油果跟另一個更老更惡心的牛油果在做愛Your face is the stuff of nightmares.你的臉會讓人做噩夢Like a testicle with teeth.像是長了牙的睪丸Because you look like Freddy Krueger face-fucked a topographical map of Utah. 因為你看起來就像《猛鬼街》里的弗萊迪克魯格，用臉干了猶他地質(zhì)圖to fix this butterface. 去把這張丑臉治好 （butterface - "but-her-face" - 俚語，相當(dāng)于 “貝多芬”，轉(zhuǎn)身鬼見愁）音樂/電影梗：I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s.我要像軟餅干樂隊在90年代后期毀掉音樂那樣毀掉你。Like, a Yakov-Smirnoff-opening-for-the-Spin-Doctors-at-the-Iowa-State-Fair shit-show. 就像雅科夫思美洛在愛荷華州博會上為Spin Doctors做暖場演出那種災(zāi)難Make It Big is the album that George and Andy earned the exclamation point. 《使其出名》是喬治和安迪為樂隊掙到感嘆號的專輯and I'm gonna boom-box "Careless Whisper" outside your window.我會在你窗外播放《無心快語》的CDNothing compares to you. Sinéad O'Connor, 1990. 沒什么可與你相比，西尼德奧康娜，1990年I had a Liam Neeson nightmare.I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter.Hey, they've made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent. 我做了個噩夢，里面有連姆尼森。我夢到我綁架了他女兒。那個系列他們拍了三集，那讓人覺得他就是個壞爸爸。Let us go talk to the Professor.McAvoy or Stewart?These timelines are so confusing. 我們?nèi)ジ淌谡務(wù)劙?麥卡沃伊還是斯圖爾特？這些時間軸真讓人迷惑You ever see 127 Hours? Spoiler alert. 看過《127小時》嗎？我要劇透了喔 （死侍自戕）Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. 《神啊，我是瑪格麗特》 （還是死侍自戕：因為書里的主角第一次來月經(jīng)，面對大量經(jīng)血，所以死侍用了這個梗）And please don't make the super-suit green or animated. 還有別做綠色的或是動畫的緊身服 (吐槽小賤賤當(dāng)年演過的爛片綠燈俠）Oral fixation... or just a big Stallone fan? 口欲滯留還是史泰龍粉？ （因為“天使”咬著火柴，而龍哥經(jīng)常在大銀幕上咬著一根雞尾酒棍）You're gonna leave me all alone here with less-angry Rosie O'Donnell? 你要讓我跟沒什么性格的羅茜奧唐納獨處？giving Meredith Baxter-Birney a Dutch oven. （Dutch oven指的是你跟某人一起躺在床上，你放屁之后把被單罩在TA頭上強迫TA聞屁）AGENT SMITH 史密斯特工 （黑客帝國梗，不用多說）pretty sure Robin loves Batman too 我相信羅賓也愛著蝙蝠俠。（嗯，我也信）You ever heard David Beckham speak? 你聽過大衛(wèi)貝克漢姆說話嗎？ It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. 就像他剛跟一罐氦氣口交過一樣You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on his superior acting method? 你以為瑞安雷諾茲走到今天是靠他高超的演技嗎？Have fun at your midnight showing of Blade II. 希望你享受你《刀鋒戰(zhàn)士2》的午夜場PEOPLE - SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! HUGH JACKMAN 《人物》–世上最性感的男人！休杰克曼Ronnie Milsap! 朗尼米爾塞Ripley, from Alien 3!《異形3》里的雷普利！it does rhyme with "Polverine." 那跟“金剛郎”押韻Say the magic words, Fat Gandalf. Go cast a spell. 道歉，肥甘道夫。去施展魔法吧FEIGE'S FAMOUS PIZZA 費吉馳名批薩 （貌似這里是向漫威工作室的凱文費吉致敬）Voltron: Defender of the Universe 戰(zhàn)神金剛 five mini lion-bots come together to form one super-bot 五個小機器獅能合體成為一個超級機器人Just ride a bitch's back, like Yoda on Luke. Star Wars jokes. Empire. 就像尤達大師騎在盧克背上?！缎菓?zhàn)》梗、《帝國反擊戰(zhàn)》（此時的床上，賤賤正從背后抱著凡妮莎）It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man.這房子可真大，有趣的是我只見到你們兩個.就跟電影公司請不起另一個X戰(zhàn)警一樣因為瑞安雷諾茲是加拿大人所以影片里有幾個楓葉國的梗：rookie sensation Wade W. Wilson out of Regina, Saskatchewan 來自薩斯喀徹溫里賈納的新秀韋德威爾遜Regina rhymes with fun. 里賈納跟vagina押韻啊Canada! 死侍殺得性起，大呼一聲“加拿大”！其他雜七雜八的廢話：I never carry a wallet when I'm working. It ruins the lines of my suit. 我工作時從不帶錢包不然會破壞我的緊身服的線條Rich Corinthian leather. 豪華科林斯皮革（死侍在車?yán)锔舜蚣軙r頭被頂在前面的皮座椅背后所說的臺詞）I give a guy a pavement facial, it's because he's earned it. 要讓人表演惡狗吃屎，是因為他罪有應(yīng)得 （pavement facial指拖著臉貼著地的對方走）we are like really fucked up tooth fairies...except we knock out the teeth and take the cash.我們就像是變態(tài)牙仙只是我們打掉人家的牙并收錢I give you a Blow Job. 這就是你要的“口交” (這里是雙關(guān)，其中之一的意思是以下的雞尾酒）All right, Kahlua, Baileys and... whipped cream. 好了，卡魯哇咖啡酒、百利甜酒以及發(fā)泡奶油。I don't take the shits. I just disturb them. （這里借用了shit-stirrer的習(xí)慣用法，意思是我就是根攪屎棍）I'm living to 102. And then dying. Like the city of Detroit. 我會活到102歲，然后奄奄一息，就像底特律市一樣 （吐槽破產(chǎn)的底市）What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this? 你這樣的地方在這樣的女孩搞啥鬼？chicken noodle 雞湯面 (吐槽“黑后”穿的X特警緊身服的顏色）上次忘了說的三俗梗：The whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga 否則整個世界會充滿做過熱瑜伽的肥媽媽的氣味（肥媽媽是電視劇Here Comes Honey Boo Boo里的人物）What does Miss Mama June taste like?肥媽媽的氣味是怎樣的？Like two hobos fucking in a shoe filled with piss 就像兩個流浪漢操裝滿尿的鞋子#driveby. 臭屁車開過 (死侍在公寓里走過盲人老太婆，一邊放屁一邊說)Like you've been pitching, not catching. 看來你是小攻，不是小受 （借用棒球術(shù)語）上次說過的一些三俗梗在這里： http://www.weibo.com/p/1001603940113863339519